Obituary and memorial

How to write an obituary and plan a memorial service

An obituary tells people about the person who died and shares practical service information. A memorial gives family and friends a place to remember them. Both can be simple or detailed, and neither has to follow a fixed template.

Reviewed September 28, 2026

Key points

Confirm names, dates, relationships, and service information before publishing an obituary.
Include only the personal details the family is comfortable making public.
Plan the memorial around the person's life, beliefs, family, and the people who need to attend.
Assign one person to coordinate speakers, music, photos, venue, and timing.
A memorial can take place before or after burial or cremation and can be held later when travel or scheduling requires it.

What to include in an obituary

An obituary can include the person's full name, age, dates, place of residence, important family relationships, major life events, work, military service, education, community involvement, interests, and a short description of what mattered to them.

It can also include funeral or memorial details and information about flowers, donations, or a preferred charity. There is no requirement to include every detail.

Check details before publishing

Have another family member review spelling, dates, names, relationships, addresses, times, and links. A second review is especially helpful when the obituary is being written quickly.

Think about privacy before publishing exact addresses, personal contact information, or sensitive family details. Public obituaries can be copied and shared beyond the original website or newspaper.

Choose where to publish

Families may publish through the funeral home, a local newspaper, an online obituary service, a religious or community organization, social media, or a private family page. Compare cost, audience, editing options, and how long the notice will remain available.

Plan the memorial around the person

A memorial can include readings, music, stories, photos, videos, religious elements, military honors, a reception, or a simple time for people to gather. Choose the parts that reflect the person and the family's needs rather than trying to include every possible element.

Choose a date, time, and accessible venue.
Decide who will lead or officiate.
Invite speakers and give them a clear time limit.
Select music, readings, photos, video, or keepsakes.
Plan seating, sound, livestream, transportation, food, flowers, and accessibility if needed.
Decide whether burial, scattering, or another committal will be part of the same event.

A memorial does not have to happen immediately

A family can hold a memorial after cremation or burial, or weeks or months later. A later date may make travel easier and give the family more time to prepare a personal gathering.

If the funeral provider is supplying a venue or staff, compare those charges with other local venue options and ask what is included.

Sources and further reading

Funeral Funnel uses primary government and consumer-protection sources when a guide depends on legal rights, government benefits, or official processes. Requirements can change, so confirm important details with the responsible agency or provider.

Federal Trade Commission — Funeral Costs and Pricing Checklist

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